question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
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