He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
