I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
