im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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