...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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