We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
