He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
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