But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Randomize
