dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
