Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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