Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Randomize
