So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
In other news, I just burned my penis
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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