I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
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