is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
either way he was missing a nipple.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
