You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Your mouth is God's brothel.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
