We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
I came so hard my ears popped.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
