i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
