"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
