Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
You took a bar mat shot.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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