It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
