And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
