i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
