the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
