adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Randomize
