i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
