So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
