i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
