My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
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