You're completely useless in the revolution.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Randomize
