He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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