so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
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Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
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You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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