we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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