I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
