You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
