I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
