HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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