yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
