Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize