i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
