Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
