hell yes lets make some ravioli
It's Friday. Sex?
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize