Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
