Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
It was confusing and full of hummus
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
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