I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
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