i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
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