he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
