What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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