well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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