we're chasing vodka with high fives
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Randomize
