When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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