I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize