eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
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