What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
its not stalking. its research.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Randomize
