Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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