Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
