Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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