I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Randomize
