I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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