How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
