But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
