some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
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