Barsexuality is the new black.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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