whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I'm just crazy horny about you
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
