You really coming over, don't trick.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
