You were right. It hurts to walk today.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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