somebody snuck up and got me drunk
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.â€
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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