I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Randomize
