Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize