porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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